Grandma's (Paleo) Meatballs

My Gramma was pretty much the coolest human being who ever lived. Over the course of my entire life, she stuffed me full of delicious Italian food. Being that she was the first generation of Italian immigrants born in the USA, that Italian food was pretty dang good. Gramma didn't exactly know the meaning of Paleo when she was alive, but she knew the secret to making moist and delicious meatballs. Unfortunately for those of us who eat Paleo, those meatballs were stuffed with Parmesan cheese and Italian seasoned bread crumbs.

But guess what? If you strip both those things away, and swap in a little seasoned almond flour for the breadcrumbs, you'll be on your way to meatballs just the way Gramma used to make 'em - only Paleo style.

Why is my gramma giving metal fingers?
Because she's a M*****F****** BOSS, that's why!

But on to the recipe! Here are a few general notes for the best gaddang meatballs you've ever had in your entire life.

General Notes:

1. Instead of boring ground beef, use meatball mix, which is equal parts beef, pork and veal.
2. You need the egg AND the almond meal. Don't leave either one out. They'll bind the meatball and keep it spongy and moist. No one wants a gristly meatball. Blech.
3. Use your hands to mix everything up - but don't overdo it. (And if you hate getting meatfingers, try wearing rubber gloves like I do. I have a thing about getting meatfingers, don't ask.)
4. When rolling your balls, keep a light touch. Baddabing!
5. Don't skip the sear. That delicious brown crust will take the meatball to the next level.
6. Simmer your balls in (what better be) a delicious homemade sauce for 2 hours MINIMUM, though I usually go for 3. They'll be so tender it'll make you want to cry.

If you break any of these meatball commandments, Grammies will come haunt your ass. That's 4 feet 10 inches of pure Eye-talian spitfire. Trust me, you don't want that.

Need a tomato sauce recipe? Try Hand Crushed San Marzano Tomato Sauce. Just swap the pork out and the meatballs in. (Or leave it. You can never have too much meat, suckas.)

Ingredients

• 2 lb meatball mix (or just plain ground beef if you suck at life)
• 1 onion (grated or minced)
• 5 cloves garlic (grated or minced)
• 1 cup seasoned almond flour
• 2 tsp salt
• 1 egg
• 1 Tbsp minced fresh parsley
• 1 small drizzle of extra virgin olive oil

1. Add all ingredients to a large bowl and combine with your hands. (See note #3 above regarding meatfingers. Yuck.)
2. Roll the balls gently with your hands. If they stick to your fingers, coat your hands very lightly with a bit of the olive oil. I like big balls (zing!) so I make them about 2" a pop. I get about 18 large meatballs out of 2 lbs of meat. Set the balls aside on a baking sheet lined with parchment or wax paper.
3. Heat about a tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil in a frying pan over medium high heat. Sear the outside of the meatballs in 2 batches until they have a nice brown crust. 
4. Drop them in your saucepot when done and simmer on the stove for 2-3 hours.

(NOTE: You can add other meats to your pot along with the meatballs. I like tossing in sausages, pork bracciole, and even spareribs. Just remember to sear everything in the frying pan before you put it in the pot.)

the beauty of the meatball mix

That's my grammies' own big aluminum pot.
So many thousands of meatballs have passed through this pot.
It's like the holy grail of meatballs.

Buon Appetito!

Hand-Crushed San Marzano Tomato Sauce

Just because we're freezing our butts off here in the Northeast and there's not a tomato crop in sight doesn't mean we can't still enjoy beautiful homemade tomato sauce. If you missed the boat last summer of storing enough fresh tomato sauce to last through the winter it's not too late! Believe it or not, you can still achieve a beautiful pot of sauce from canned whole tomatoes. In this particular recipe, I chose to use a large piece of pork to add to my sauce pot, but you could throw in anything. Try meatballs, sausages, braciole, or even calamarri and shrimp!

Ingredients

• Large piece of pork, about 1-2 lbs
• Coconut oil
• 1 large carrot, grated
• 1 medium onion, diced
• 8 cloves garlic, peeled and sliced
• 1 6oz can tomato paste
• 3 28oz cans whole peeled San Marzano tomatoes (if you have trouble finding them in the regular grocery store, try an Italian grocery or Italian meat store)
• 1 tsp salt (plus more to taste, if needed)
• 1/8 tsp pepper (plus more to taste, if needed)
• 1 tsp dried oregano
• 2 bay leaves
• Fresh basil leaves

1. Prepare the canned tomatoes by pouring them into a very large bowl. Crush the tomatoes by squeezing them in your hands until all the large pieces are broken up.
2. In a large 6qt saucepan, sear the pork briefly on all sides on high heat with 1-2 Tbsp coconut oil. Remove the meat, reserving the juices in the pan, and put the pork on a plate off to the side.
3. In the same pan, saute the carrot and onion until soft on medium-high heat. Add the garlic and continue to saute another 30 seconds until fragrant. Add the can of tomato paste and saute another 30 seconds.
4. Add the bowl of crushed tomatoes along with the salt, pepper, oregano, and bay leaves. Don't put the basil in just yet. Stir the pot well and then nestle the pork back in. Bring to a boil. Once boiling, lower the heat to simmer on low 3-6 hours. The longer the sauce cooks, the thicker and more fragrant it will be. You want to at least cook it long enough so that the meat falls apart when pulled with a fork. Taste regularly and add more salt/spices as needed.
5. Tear apart 2 - 3 large handfuls of basil leaves and stir into the sauce right before serving to maintain the freshness and flavor of the herb. Serve over zucchini noodles, or spaghetti squash.

Not a fan of getting my hands dirty. Gloves for the win!



Growing up, my mom and grandmother always added white sugar to their sauce to cut the acid of the tomatoes, but carrot actually does the same thing and is a much healthier alternative! Grated up small like this, you can't even tell it's in there.

All ingredients prepped and ready to go!

The Italian grocery store actually sells packaged pork labelled "for sauce". Perfecto!

Nestle the pork back into the pan

Fin! Bellissimo!

Pan-Fried Pork Chops

One of the simplest recipes in my repertoire are these delicious, pan-fried pork chops. They're perfect for a quick weeknight meal because they only take minutes to prepare. My favorite part is the flavorful juice that comes seeping out as they cool on a plate fresh from the pan. I like to cut my meat into small pieces and sop those extra juices up with each bite.

Mmmm... juicy

Ingredients

• 4 boneless center cut pork chops 
• Garlic powder
• Salt and fresh ground pepper
• Smoked paprika (aka bacon spice!)
• Coconut oil

1. Season both sides of the pork chops with garlic powder, salt, pepper, and smoked paprika - all to taste.
2. Heat a tablespoon or two of coconut oil in a pan over high heat (not the highest, but up there).
3. Fry the chops a few minutes on each side, until only slightly pink or just white when cut open. The outside will get brown and caramelized which is where the delicious flavor comes from, but cooking too long will dry the chops out.
4. Let sit at least 5 minutes on a plate before serving so those tasty juices can come seeping out. Drizzle any leftover juices on top when serving.

Love that smoked paprika!

Mmmm... caramelized

Juices starting to seep out... the best part!

Sausage Portobello "Pizzas" (cheese optional!)

Sometimes I look at a portobello mushroom and think that nature gave us a little edible dish. But what to put on it? Two tastes that I think go extremely well together are portobello mushrooms and sausage. And with just a few more ingredients you can have your very own portobello "pizzas"!

I decided to splurge a little and put some cheese on mine, but these simple little "pizzas" don't need cheese to still be delicious. If you've been practicing your knife skills, you can whip this up in a few minutes and have it on the table in no time.

Ingredients

• 6 portobello mushroom caps (peeled, stems removed)
• Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• 1 lb ground pork
• 1 1/2 Tbsp Italian Sausage Seasoning* (see below for recipe)
• 4 campari tomatoes (these are smaller than a beefsteak but larger than cherries)
• 5 cloves garlic, sliced thin
• 12 large basil leaves, chiffonaded
• 1 6-oz package organic shredded mozzarella cheese (optional)
• salt, fresh pepper, and dried oregano to taste

1. Heat a tablespoon of oil in a frying pan over medium-high heat. 
2. With your hands, mix the Italian Sausage Seasoning into the ground pork until combined. Crumble the sausage mix into the frying pan and cook until lightly browned. Move the meat in the frying pan off to the side.
3. Set oven to broil.
4. Line a sided baking sheet with foil and drizzle with olive oil. Place the mushrooms face down and drizzle generously with more oil. Broil for 5 - 7 minutes, until slightly soft, then remove from oven and flip mushrooms over so that the gills are facing up.
5. Mix the garlic, sliced basil, and cheese (if using cheese) into the sausage mixture in the frying pan with another tablespoon or so of oil. If the mixture is still hot the cheese may start to melt, which is fine.
6. Fill each mushroom cap with a heap of sausage mixture and top with sliced tomatoes. Sprinkle each with salt, pepper, and oregano and put back under the broiler another 3 - 5 minutes, until tomatoes begin to wilt and soften.
7. Remove from oven and serve hot!

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*I've used this seasoning mix from Melissa Joulwan in a few recipes so far on this site. I always recommend you keep some in your spice cabinet, pre-made. I always use it to make my own sausage meat. I typically use 1 1/2 Tbsp per pound of ground pork. In case you need the recipe for the mix, here it is again. Note this will yield MUCH more than is necessary for this recipe so you can save the extra for next time.

Italian Sausage Seasoning Mix

• 4 tsp dried parsley
• 1 Tbsp dried Italian herbs
• 2 tsp ground black pepper
• 2 tsp garlic powder
• 2 tsp paprika
• 4 tsp salt
• 1 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
• 1 1/2 tsp fennel seed (optional) - you should use this if you have it, though, it really gives the meat that sausagey taste

In a medium bowl, crush the dried parsley and Italian herbs with your fingers or a fork to release their flavor. Add the black pepper, garlic powder, paprika, salt, red pepper flakes, and fennel seed. Mix with a fork.
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Tips for Variations:

• You can mix anything into the sausage filling. Why not try some chopped broccoli rape (saute first, until soft)?
• Don't want to use campari tomatoes? Try using halved grape tomatoes instead. 
• Sprinkle some crushed red pepper on top for a hint of spice.
• Try switching out the mozzarella cheese with crumbled feta instead - yum!

Magic Trick - add a little seasoning and poof! You now have sausage!

I hate ground meat squishing between my fingers so I always wear gloves for this part.

Browned to perfection!

Getting the pan ready...

Peel the mushrooms starting from the inside lip..

And then you have the nice, clean, white meat underneath.

I typically leave the gills on my mushroom, but you can remove them if you like.

Just a few short minutes under the broiler and our portobello crusts are all ready for filling!

Love these campari tomatoes! If you don't have any, you can use grape or cherry.

What was that fancy word used earlier? Chiffonade? Well, here it is. Pretty simple, actually. Just stack all your basil leaves together and roll them up tightly. Then use your knife to slice the rolled basil into thin little ribbons. This is a quick and easy way to slice delicate leafy herbs.

 

And here is the product of your chiffonading! (This isn't all the basil, you should be left with much more than this.)

To use cheese or not is completely up to you. I do use a little dairy here or there. This meal would be delicious even without it.

And here we are, ready for the oven again!

 FIN.

Sausage and Peppers

Making your own sausage meat is actually really easy. Putting it in a casing may require some special equipment, but who says sausage always has to be in a casing? I checked the ingredients on a package of sausages in the meat department of my local grocery store and guess what was on there, in addition to a host of nitrates? CORN SYRUP! Ick! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!????

Now, there are some organic brands you could buy which don't contain any of those yucky additives, but they're usually more expensive, and unfortunately my grocery store doesn't carry them. Buy why bother when you can make your own with some ground pork and a few spices?!?!

You may remember my recipe test of Melissa Joulwan's Italian Sausage Eggplant Strata last year. I like making her Italian Sausage Seasoning Mix and keeping it on hand for times such as these. It turns plain ground pork into sausage in a snap!

This spice mix is more than you will need for the sausage and peppers recipe so save the extra in a small airtight container or empty spice bottle.

Italian Sausage Seasoning Mix

• 4 tsp dried parsley
• 1 Tbsp dried Italian herbs
• 2 tsp ground black pepper
• 2 tsp garlic powder
• 2 tsp paprika
• 4 tsp salt
• 1 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
• 1 1/2 tsp fennel seed (optional) - you should use this if you have it, though, it really gives the meat that sausagey taste

In a medium bowl, crush the dried parsley and Italian herbs with your fingers or a fork to release their flavor. Add the black pepper, garlic powder, paprika, salt, red pepper flakes, and fennel seed. Mix with a fork.

Sausage and Peppers

• 2 lb ground pork
• 3 Tbsp Italian Sausage Seasoning Mix
• 4 bell peppers (mix of sweet red/yellow/orange and green), cut into chunks
• 2 medium onions, cut into 1" pieces
• Sea Salt

1. With your hands, mix the Italian Sausage Seasoning into the ground pork, then crumble the pork into a large saute pan and brown the meat on the stove over medium-high heat. Remove the meat to a plate or bowl with a slotted spoon (leave the juices in the pan).
2. Over medium-high heat, saute the peppers and onions in the same pan using the fats from the ground pork as your "oil". Season generously with salt.
3. When the onions and peppers are tender, add the meat back to the pan and mix well. Cook another minute or so until well-combined.

mmmm... spices

amazing that a few spoons of this will turn ground pork into sausage

This is the leftover...

Boom. Sausage.